I Belong to Him
by Lady Remus 1983
Summary: Set during OOTP Remus cannot help himself……not even the love of Sirius can save him. COMPLETED UNDERAGE RAPE


Title: I Belong to Him

Author: Lady Remus

Pairings: Remus/Fenrir

Summary: Set during OOTP Remus cannot help himself……not even the love of Sirius can save him.

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: non-con, underage rape (Remus was 14 at the time)

Disclaimer: The original characters come from the mind of J K Rowling. I don't own them and I'm certainly not making any profit from this.

Notes: I am shocked over the fact that I wrote this fic. I felt I was drained after writing the fic "Total Surrender" but I got this in my head whilst watching the film "Total Eclipse" (starring the wonderful David Thewlis). In fact the dialogue between Remus and Sirius at the end was inspired by an argument between David's character and Leonardo DiCaprio's character.

Review: Yes please

I have told myself again and again that I will never go back to Fenrir Greyback, and yet, I cannot help myself. I am walking to him now and I know I will not turn back. I never do. I have belonged to him for far too long now and some habits are just too hard to break, especially those that are over 20 years old. It has been so long since our first sexual encounter, and yet I still remember it.

_It was an early morning, and the daylight had just released me from the curse that the moonlight had brought onto me. I walked down the stairs from the top floor of the Shrieking Shack and was heading towards the underground tunnel. Suddenly I felt two strong hands grab me from behind and I was pushed towards a strong body._

"_I always wondered who was doing the screaming here."_

_My blood ran cold and my heart felt hard as I immediately recognised who it was--Fenrir Greyback, the monster of my nightmares. I had only been in his presence once before, but I had never forgotten his voice. He fingered my hair before trailing his sharp fingernail down my cheek. His claw stopped at the unmistakable bite mark on my neck._

"_You're one of mine, aren't you?" he taunted, digging his nail into my neck. I closed my eyes, trying my hardest not to wince in pain. "You are, aren't you?"_

_I did not answer him. I was too afraid to speak. I did not want him to know that I feared him, and I knew he would realise my fear by the sound of my voice. _

"_I must admit," he continued, "I am always proud whenever I meet one of mine. Not many survive, you see." He moved his strong hand down my shirt and down to my crotch. "Do you know what I like to do whenever I meet one that I have bitten?"_

_I did not respond at all and there was a long silence. It eventually broke when he squeezed my crotch hard and I gasped at the pain. _

_As I winced in pain, he whispered in my ear. "I like to claim them."_

_I was confused. Claim them? He had already bitten me--how much more could he possible claim me? It was only when he proceeded to undo my trousers that I realised what was going to happen. I tried my hardest to escape from him, but his grip was too strong. As he held onto me with one arm, he placed his other hand into my open trousers and began to fondle my cock. Although my brain was screaming for him to stop and tears were appearing in my eyes, I began to moan at his touch. _

_All too soon, he released his hold on my cock and pulled down my trousers and underwear until my bottom was exposed to him. He threw me onto the stairs, but before I could crawl away from him, he knelt on my back and bore all his weight on me. As I tried to crawl away in vain, I could hear him unzip his trousers and pull them down his legs frantically. He released his knee from my back and quickly replaced it with his hand as he positioned himself behind me. _

_After another tensed silence, he took me in one hard and uncaring thrust. I screamed in pain as his unbelievably large cock filled my tight and dry virginal entrance. _

"_It hurts…please don't…PLEASE DON'T!"_

_He took no pity on the fact that I could feel pain--in fact my screams only encouraged him. He gripped my hips so hard I could feel his sharp claws pierce into me and he fucked me raw. All I could do was lie there and try to ignore the pain and the river of blood flowing down my legs. It did not help that my cock was increasingly become painfully aroused as he deliberately brushed against my prostrate. My agonising screams turned into moans as I concentrated on my aching erection. _

_Eventually, the ordeal came to an end as I felt him come inside me with a triumphant roar. When he got off my back, I simply lay there out of shock and fear. He roughly picked me up and forced me to kneel on the stairs. He took my erection in his hand and began to rub it hard and fast. Although I did not want him touching me, the sensations flowing through my body were incredible and nothing that I have ever felt before or since has been so good. I moaned with need, and I thrust in his hand with the need to come. _

_I closed my eyes and focused on my need to come and hoped it would be over quickly. I could feel his fingernails rip through my shirt and pierce my chest, but I simply focused on my aching cock. Eventually I came with a sob as my orgasm passed too quickly for me to enjoy. My whole body went weak, and as he let go of me, I collapsed on the stairs. I heard him zip up his trousers and walk past me. Before he left my sight, he stared at me with a triumphant look on his face._

"_Just remember, you belong to me now."_

_I obediently nodded and then he was gone. I don't know how long I waited on those stairs, but eventually, the shock subsided and it was then that I began to cry. _

His last words rang into my head for a long time after that, and now I truly believe them. After all, he was the one who had given birth to this creature that lies in me. We are both monsters of the world, and because he had made me this way, that makes me a part of him and vice versa. No matter who I love, who I sleep with, where I am or what I do, I will always belong to him.

For the next year, he would spend every full moon raping me, using me in any sick way he desired. I was thankful when my best friends, James, Peter and Sirius became anigmai. Fenrir would never attack me if I was not alone. I should have found the courage to tell my best friends the truth but by then, he had raped me for a year, and now I was too scared to speak of my shame.

After Hogwarts, the Mauraders went to live their lives, and one day, I had to be a werewolf alone. That's when Fenrir came back into my life and raped me again. He also made his point clear again that I belonged to him. After that, I insisted to my friends that they do not accompany me again.

I am now knocking at his door and eventually he appears. It may have been more than 20 years since he had taken my virginity, and the age is starting to show on his face, but I still fear him. He looks at me with a sneering grin and invites me in. I enter and I can feel his grip on my crotch before he has even shut the door.

I am now back at Grimmauld Place and I immediately head for my own bedroom. Without undressing, I lie on my bed and I try to fall asleep, hoping that by tomorrow, Greyback's inflicted pain on my body will have faded. My urge to sleep is disturbed by someone who has just entered my bedroom. The stranger walks towards and lies beside me, making spoons. I know exactly who it is.

"Where have you been?" Sirius asked with concern.

I curl up, feeling the fresh wounds stretch on my skin, "Nowhere."

He wraps his arms around me and my body instantly stiffens "You've been with him, haven't you?" When I do not answer, he continues, "Why do you always go back to him?"

I cannot answer him because it will mean opening a Pandora's Box. I know that I should have told Sirius about the first time Greyback raped me when it had happened, but like I said, I was too scared and ashamed.

I sniff the air and can now smell a strong aroma of alcohol, "You're drunk. Please let me sleep." I plead.

Sirius sooths, "Remy, don't do this to yourself. You don't need to go to him. You've got me--I love you so much, Remy."

"No…don't say that..."

He takes my head in his hands and forces me to look at him, "I want you to say the words, darling."

"What?"

"I want you to say that you love me."

I try to pull away from him and moan, "Go to bed, Sirius. You're drunk."

He holds onto me tighter, "Yes, I've had a few drinks, but it doesn't stop me from loving you or being hurt every time you go to him. Why do you do it, love? Why? You're not like him, baby. You're different--you're better than him. I don't care if you don't love me or if you simply stay here in pity, but please don't go back anymore. Please. Just say the words…just once…please."

I stare in his beautiful grey eyes that are filling up with tears. In that moment, I want to tell him everything. I want to hold him and kiss the tears away and just love him. But I can't--I just can't. He can never know how weak I am, for it will mean losing him completely, and if there is one thing I fear more than Greyback, it is losing this beautiful man forever.

I sigh and say coldly, "I want to go to sleep."

He closes his eyes as if he is disappointed. He then nods and gets off the bed without saying a word. He is about to leave the bedroom when he turns and looks at me with those sad eyes and says, "I am not going to give up on you," and then he leaves me.

After a few moments, I curl up in my bed sheets and try not to cry. I hate to be so cold or cruel to Sirius, but I have to be. I know that Sirius loves me and I think that I love him, but I can never be his. He knows I go to Greyback--he has known for a year, but he has no idea about the truth. He thinks it has only been happening for a year. If he knew the full truth, he will not love me anymore. How could he love such a weak person like me? I know I am weak. If I was strong, I would have told Sirius the truth from the start, and I would be able to resist going to Greyback.

Also, how can Sirius even begin to understand what it is like to be a werewolf--stuck in the middle between man and monster? Deep down, I hate Greyback and I think he's a sadistic monster, but with him, I feel like I belong.

Before I fall asleep, I know that I will return to Greyback--if not tomorrow then soon. After all, some habits are just too hard to break.


End file.
